Ok, so here's my "firing" story. I haven't forgotten it for 5 years it was so bad, so please, please, let me have this book.
The year: 2001.
The job: "Volunteer" editorial assistant. I was a few years out of school, and I was having trouble getting a job on a magazine, so I called a small magazine and asked if I could work for free.
Job tasks:
--opening mail during the Anthrax scare. I was scared and wore gloves and a mask. (Don't laugh; we were all paranoid, remember?)
--walking a mile to their old office to get their mail. Every week. No cab or bus fare provided.
--carrying a package so heavy it almost delimbed me.
--cleaning out bookcase of editor who gave me the evil eye the entire time.
The result from all my hard work?: Rarely did a thank-you ever escape their lips. Never got even a stipend.
Funniest moment (but only in hindsight): My editor asked me if I could refrain from wearing "the ER getup" while opening letters. A camera crew was coming in to film them.
What I think got me fired: One day they were getting a new telephone system put in. It was so freakin' complicated they needed someone to come in and explain how it worked. Alright. Not a problem. I can pick up new technology. But THEY DIDN'T TELL ME WHEN THE GUY WAS COMING. One day I walked in, and there he was. His lecture was almost over and I had missed it. The editor then informed me I had my lunch hour to learn and master the new phone system. All I had to help me along? A little almost incomprehensible booklet. It didn't work and I wound up walking to her to tell her when she had a call rather than use the system. I sensed she did not like this.
The firing: One day, I told one of the editors I was going for a cup of coffee. She asked if she could come along. Why sure! Why not? We walked out and she said, "Uh, you no, I don't think you're fitting in." Uhhh...WHATCHOO TALKIN ABOUT WILLIS? How can you say
that when almost everyone likes me? And even if it was true, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?
"Well," she said, "we're going to have to let you go."
But why? I asked, not buying the "not fitting in" excuse.
"Our boss' friend has cancer and is not doing well," she said.
Have you ever had one of those dreams where people talk and nothing they say makes sense? Yeah. This was like that.
I begged her to reconsider giving me my JOB FOR WHICH I WAS BEING PAID NOTHING back. She said she'd talk to the boss over the weekend. Like a fool, I went back with her and worked (well, pretended to work) the rest of the day.
I called on Monday. She was almost laughing at me at this point. "Well," she said. "we can't really take you back, in light of what happened."
Like I said, this was like that dream. Except I never woke up.
(Posted by Anonymous)
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