Seriously, This Is The Boss From Hell

By
Job Swill
on June 12, 2006 9:28 AM | | Comments (1874)

I have never met a more loathsome, disgusting or annoying person than my boss. He's the CEO of a very small commercial real estate company in Sacramento, and there are only about 6 of us in the office. I've been here for 2.5 years as his "executive assistant" which is basically just a glorified word processor and personal shopper.

He is 40 years old and he does not know how to operate a computer. He refuses to learn anything, so I print off all his emails (they come into my Inbox), and give them to him, and he handwrites his responses on them and returns them to me to type. He dictates all his emails, letters, faxes, memos, leases, purchase agreements, everything on tapes which he also belches on, slurps his drinks and smacks while eating or sucking on candy. He calls employees at all hours - for example, he's called me on weekends to ask where his favorite pen was, how to turn the computer on and plug in his iPod to charge it, and if I sent a certain email to so-and-so. He called me once when I traveled cross country to attend a funeral to ask me to bring nectarines into the office when I returned. He has me order everything online for him from underwear to socks to Viagra to plants for his many, many whorish women. Everyone seems to think he's gay but yet he manages to hook up with all these slutty women who only want him for his money (he's got huge ears, beady eyes and greasy skin). He truly is very socially awkward and tries making jokes that are at about a 3rd grade level, such as yesterday when my back hurt he said "If I kick you in the shin will it help?" Who says that?

Furthermore, we have a revolving staff of receptionists because they can each only take the belittling, degrading treatment from him for so long. I've hung in there for the money, but thank God, my last day is in 2 weeks. He makes his personal life known, as if ANYONE cares, such as last year when he knocked up a girl and then dumped her when she wouldn't get an abortion. One day I came in and had to type up his child support agreement. He has me email all his sluts with things like "Candy Shorts, when will I see you? Let's have a threesome next weekend. Bring the 'party favors.'" No, I'm not kidding.

He eats at his desk and licks his spoon and utensils and then sets it in his outbox with his dirty dishes so the receptionist or I have to take it into the kitchen and put it in the dishwasher. He talks down to everyone and the only thing he excels at is manipulating people and threatening them into making deals. He left a long, agitated voicemail on my phone the other night "reminding me" that there would be "work" for me to do the next day. He went on abuot this for at least 5 minutes. What employer needs to tell his employee, at 9:30 PM, that there would be work for her to do the next day?

He calls the receptionist "Sweetie" and "Sugar" and has called her drunkenly at 1 in the morning, asking what club she's at. He constantly asks why I would want to leave a job I'm so good at. Maybe because I'm still young and I don't dream of being someone's secretary and doing a job that simply makes more money for someone who is so self-centered, immoral, rude and disgusting. The great part is I'm walking out about 3 days before I'm supposed to train my replacement, who will not last. I quit last year (but came back for a $10k raise, stupidly), and my replacement then lasted 3 days and got a bloody nose and walked out, saying she'd been a secretary for 30 years but refused to work for my boss.

Lastly, I sold him some paintings of mine to hang in one of his office buildings. One weekend a few of them got stolen, and he accused ME of stealing them so that he would have to buy more to replace them off of me.

I hope he rots in hell.

(Posted by C.H.)

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1874 Comments

By Girly_Girl on June 12, 2006 10:27 AM | Reply

'Candy Shorts'... LMAO.

Sorry- sucks to be you.

By Rem Sievert on June 12, 2006 10:50 AM | Reply

What's his number? I want to date him.

By Jez on June 12, 2006 12:53 PM | Reply

That part about the dirty dishes in the outbox is outrageous lol.

By Alison on August 3, 2006 3:20 PM | Reply

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!! I think you have a real twisted under cover pervert there. He probably likes to do weird crap in the bedroom and pays woman to do it to him. He probably gets off knowing you are writting these letters at his request. Frigin nutcase.

By Ruggero Passante on August 23, 2006 9:22 PM | Reply

I feel sorry for you and myself; I am a 55 years old man and still a bank teller which would not be bad if I was not working for a real BITCH. At least you are young and bright, go girl, find a good place and a good person to work for.