I hate my co-worker because he uses the term "broads" when referring to the women he dates. I especially hate him when he chooses to spout said term while reaching over (invariably for a donut), revealing why we've taken to calling him, "The Crack Attack."
Now, I could try to explain how his cologne makes me shudder, or why I cringe when he pops his gum and then shoots me the "finger guns." And I could talk about that time he bought our boss a copy of "The Banger Sisters" for her birthday, and then went on to describe how she could watch it when she's feeling "all psycho, you know, during that time of the month." Yes, nothing would bring me more bitchy glee than to discuss his shortcomings. But I fear I haven't the space nor the words to adequately express my hate.
Buy if I had to summarize, I'd say this: I hate my co-worker almost as much as I despise Tom Cruise. And if you knew how much I loathe the much-maligned shoe lift coveter, then you'd know that that's a lot.
(Posted by Anonymous)
Broads?
Get to know that asshole, so you can know the names of his broads and call them and tell them what he says when they are not around.
Finger guns?
Laugh at him and tell him those are so eighties.
Cologne?
Say..."Sniff...sniff..WHAT'S THAT SMELL?!?!?!?!?"
And, any man who thinks he can mention "time of the month" to a female merely need a smack down.
So.
Get a rough piece of wood...maybe just a sawed off 2 by 4.
Take the company sharpie pen and write "ATTITUDE AJUSTER" on the chunk of wood.
Park it on your desk.
Hilarity ensues.
Trust me.
People like this caveman still exist? Send him to my office.
I have been there, I went as far as creating an office humor satire website about my evil boss and wicked co-workers.
the office humor.com