It's hard to say the exact moment our co-worker-----well, lost it.
- Maybe it was when she started swearing and spewing racial epithets when we had visitors in the office.
- Maybe it's when she yells loudly on her phone at her family in Ukrainian (at least if she fought in English, we could understand what she was saying and get all the gritty details).
- Maybe it was on December 23 when she called stores in New Orleans (yup, just this last year) asking if they could ship her clients Creole-styled Turduckens (the stuffed turkey, duck, chicken culinary thing) as gifts. (OK, an editorial comment, we live in Minnesota -- the land of Lutefisk and other bland food. No one wants a Turducken, much less a Creole-styled one, showing up on their door on Christmas day.) Unfortunately, they were all out and she had to drive the 100 feet to the department store across the street to purchase gift cards instead. No, the woman doesn't walk anywhere. Her feet hurt.
- Maybe it's because for the last three years, she has worn one of two outfits. See she's gained a little (50 lbs+ ) weight and she's working on losing it and just doesn't want to spend the money on new clothes. See her feet hurt and it's hard to get exercise. When she brings back pictures from vacation, they rarely have people in them. She takes pictures of the food she's eaten. "Check out this spread."
- Maybe it's when she puts her clients on hold to answer her cell phone. Sometimes she doesn't even bother pressing the hold button and just puts the phone down on her desk so they can listen in on her personal calls.
Maybe it's because she only comes into the office about two days a week from 9ish to 2ish. You see she has to miss the traffic. (Yes, she is fulltime. She claims she's working from home the other days, but, surprise, when you try her at home, she's not there.)
- Maybe it's because she thinks our office is haunted, but the noises only start when she's here alone!!! Speaking of being alone, if she is alone in the office, she insists on locking the front door, because "those people" might come in and get her. We run an employment service. People are supposed to come in the front door.
- Maybe it's the day she feel asleep while interviewing a candidate. She's also dozed off while driving in her car.
- Maybe it's because she had to ask what day of the week Thanksgiving falls on and when New Year's Day is (and yes, she was born and raised in the US and no, we're not making this up).
- Maybe it was the day she had to take her elderly mother to be booked because the mother had attacked the ex-son-in-law's car with a broom and broke his headlight. Mom got probation. Of course, there was the day she had to miss to take her frantic mother to the store to buy duct tape and Saran Wrap in case of a terrorist attack.
- Maybe it's because when she needs to talk (which could be anytime --weekends, evenings, the dinner hour because she knows you're there), she calls all your numbers -- home, cell, office repeatedly and in rapid order until she reaches you, because if you don't answer, she's apt to think you've been abducted by "those people." (No, we don't know who "those people" are.)
- Maybe it was today, when she told us a quaint story about her cousin, soaking her husband's dentures in Drano. He subsequently died and the cousin is living high.
- But the one moment that really defines our co-worker, a woman in her 50s with no children, is when she called the office frantically and requested we save the paper from our shredder for her pet gerbil.
This is not only our co-worker, she also owns the business with us. Yes, we definitely have a problem.
(Posted by KT & PG)
Wow, I figured this woman had to be in a high position (owner in this case) because I can't imagine her being able to keep her job with all of the stuff she continually pulls. I've worked a fair bit in large offices with many different kinds of people and personalities, but I can honestly say that I've never run into someone like you've described here (knock on wood)!
Why are all the crazy people winning?
I have been there, I went as far as creating an office humor satire website about my evil boss and wicked co-workers.
the office humor.com
Get out now.
There, someone hadda say it.
I once worked to two women who had nice personalities, but poor control over their GI tract and bowels.
That was fun.
For about...a month.
I actually forced them to fire me so I could move on with a clear conscience.
And one was a CPA.
They were disgusting.
Imagine working in a place where the co owners just let one loose...yes, fart...and just excuse themselves and keep right on talking.
Gag.