At my job, I was called The Ice Queen because I could keep a straight face and even voice no matter what. Actually, the reason I treated them that way was because they were disgusting and had very nasty ways. I was the paralegal. One lawyer would pick boogers all day and wipe them on the files. When going through files I would find these little monsters. ewwwww. I would go to his office to tell him about his nasty habit and tell him I absolutely refused to touch the file or the contents. He was clearly embarrassed but glared at me. Then his brother, who worked with him, intercommed me to come to his office to talk about a new case and the file I was supposed to write up. He sat there at his desk, frantically picking boogers, totally grossing me out. When he finished talking and simultaneously escavating his notstrils, he tried to hand me the file. omg .... nooooo thanks. I refused to take the file and told him why, of course, with a straight face and even voice. I walked back to my little office that had no windows and no air. I would still close my door and lock it. (From time to time, the lawyers would try the handle and finding it locked would proceed to bang or even kick the door, all the while yelling to be let in. Emergency client or case. Yeah, so.) I heard him slam the files to the floor from his office and when his brother and another lawyer went to see why he was making such a commotion, he roared that The Ice Queen strikes again, meaning I refused to touch the papers until he got a brand new, clean file and washed his hands before handing me the file. Thereby making his work late or else undone.
The story continues after the jump.
(Posted by Anonymous)
The top boss then walked into the main door of the office, tripped on the doormat and fell flat on his face. Instead of helping him up, the lawyers burst out laughing and told him how clumsy he was. After he got up on his own, he asked me did I see how the retards all laughed at him like they don't know who pays them. He said he should fire them all.
The boss bored me and I thought he may be a psychopath. But my salary was on the high side. So I basically tolerated his presence and half listened when he talked about all those things that don't interest me, especially about that haircut he hated. He complained endlessly about the barber for about four months. The other lawyers told him he should get another haircut, telling him he was starting to look like Cousin It.
Then, one day I was sitting at my desk composing and typing up a legal document and the boss came to my doorway and looked at me. I glanced at him and kept on typing. He then started banging his head on the doorway, continuously. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye because I was trying to ignore him. I was thinking that I hope he can still sign paychecks. I have two little kids and a cat to take care of. He then went to his office and was shouting at someone on the phone. Oh no, there he is again, at my office door. He asks me to call his uncle (the two brothers are his cousins) and ask him for a loan of twenty thousand dollars. His (expletive deleted) uncle turned him down, he complained. As usual, I just looked at him and calmly told him that I didn't want to talk to his uncle. His face totally scrunched and he whined that his uncle was such a (expletive deleted) etc. and he must have the twenty grand or else he can't pay his employees. Oh, well that makes a difference. You call him again and give me the phone I tell him. Uncle is just as looney as the rest of them. He whines that his nephew is supposed to be a professional, but he's always broke and maybe he shouldn't be a lawyer. But, just this one more time, he will loan him the twenty grand, and the offer is open only for the next forty five minutes. The drive there, by the way, is about an hour. The boss grabbed his jacket and ran out the front door, yelling expletives about his uncle's miserliness. When he returned to the office, the boss brought plastic champagne glasses for everyone and insisted that we make a toast with ginger ale to the new twenty grand his uncle had loaned him. He didn't really need it, but he wanted to go on a vacation with the money he said.
At the job I had before that, I worked for a lawyer that was having an affair with the office manager, who was so unskilled, she was irritating. She also dressed as if she were a hooker, with everything hanging out. She didn't quite know what an office manager was and only did minor typing of envelope labels which were always crooked with lots of typos. We always had to fix her labels or retype them because she was too lazy to retype them herself and the work had to be mailed out. The lawyer's wife came to the office with bandaids on her face, telling me that she just had a facelift but had to come to the office to confront her husband's mistress. She gives me a meaningful look and snarls at me. The other office staff all tried to tell her that it wasn't me, it was the office manager that was her husband's mistress. She balked at that and said her husband wouldn't mess with a tramp like that. In her opinion, I was definitely her husband's type. ewwwww. She even followed me to the ladies room and claimed she was warning me. I couldn't decide whether I should just punch her or ignore her. So I told her that she was already told who it was. Go talk to the office manager. After her husband made her leave the office, the office manager came over to my desk and gushed that she couldn't thank me enough. The lawyer walked over to my desk and told me not to worry about it. I typed up my resignation letter, walked into his office, dropped it on his desk and told him not to worry about it, and told him that I was demanding a month's severance pay.
After the last two jobs and co-workers from hell, I decided to leave all employment and work for myself with my own business office.
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