Results tagged “Co-Worker From Hell” from Job Swill

Common Characteristics:

Loud and opinionated: speaks up about anything and is forceful with opinion.

Figure pointing: trying to discredit anyone at any opportunity.

Multi Focused: Meaning, seems to be focused every where they shouldn't be, and hardly where they should be.

Bossy: Has a way to verbalize in a manner that speaks down to people and over people.

Energy Obsorbing: What ever the issue, and there are many, this person has to speak about it intensely and command everyone's attention to it. Keeping others from focusing on there work and using the energy on what every the intense emergency is. example: a policy about toilet paper and while you are listening, a policy about policies for about two hours.

Mistaker/Cover upper: Because this person spends so much energy and time on just about everything, this person makes a lot of mistakes, then tries to cover it up by blaming others in office or where ever.

Credit taker: Takes credit for suggested way to do or handle something, right in front, or behind your back. Doesn't matter. Really doesn't think twice about it.

Tripper: Trips off at any thing that the brain cannot handle at the moment.
Trips off loudly, verbally and physically. A mere mention of anything to redirect this persons behavior, or to gently guide it in another direction is bound to trip this person off out of know where. Oh, who am I kidding, it could be just about anything...REALLY!

I recently went back to work after being sick for 3 years. After 4 months, I am about to explode. There is this one girl there who is constantly yelling in my face if I do anything or order anything without her approval. She is not my boss but is boss's pet and jealous. She is from El Savador and just became a US citizen. She will be nice one minute and then screaming in my face the next. We have actual staff meetings so she can yell at me in front of everyone. She is hostile, irrate and out of control. She is constantly looking over my shoulder to find a mistake. I work for an orthodontist who is oblivious to the trauma this evil bitch has caused. Yesterday, she was in my face so close, I almost punched her. Please help me!

(Posted by Anonymous)

If you look up the word favoritism in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of my place of employment! It is by far the worst place I have ever seen as far as equal treatment goes. The so called administration hold some employees to a high standard while turning a blind eye to what others do (or fail to do). It's all about whether or not they like you. If they like you, you can do whatever you want when you want without any fear of consequences. However, if they don't like you, you had better watch your back and document everything that happens, because chances are, you may need it in court one day.

One classic example is my department. One guy made an honest mistake. They made him live in fear that he would be fired for this very honest and easily fixed mistake. Luckily, they couldn't fire him for it, so he had nothing to worry about, but it's just the principle of the thing! Yet, we have this one fat piece of waste who misses work constantly (has not worked a full week since February of this year), dresses inappropriately, talks trash about the powers that be (who LOVE HER!), is damn near impossible to get in touch with when she is actually at work, spreads hateful rumors about other employees being gay, and is just an all around low life. But, you can't get the so called bosses to sniff in her direction.

The story continues ...

(Posted by Anonymous)

Ok, so I'm working full-time for a State office while trying to get into something more in 'my field'....

There is no limit to the odd characters who sit around me....I'm surrounded by the Office Schizo, a very paranoid, very agitated middle aged woman who believes that ABSOLUTELY every conversation & email is about destroying her. Symptoms include: sneaking glances at me across the aisle w/narrowed eyes, all the while popping blackheads.

Then there's Allergy Guy whom I think has Tourettes'. He clears his throat 1000+ times per day, but if it's only throat clearing, we're lucky. Other times, it's snorting of mucus back into his little pea brain.

& most delightful of all, there's Creepy Pakistani Pervert Guy. He is in the cube next to me & takes to standing up & looking around (presumably to try & look down my shirt). Otherwise, he slurps his tea very loudly & apparently has a Doritos addiction as i hear him rummaging around in his file cabinet every 2 minutes to dig around for chips. After the chomping subsides, he gets back up again & hovers over his desk, playing w/papers. He's already been accused of trying to kiss a developmentally delayed girl that works as a file clerk in the elevator. He's balding & in his 50s & has hair like Animal from the Muppets. & he writes creepy poetry which he has gotten someone to publish into a book & tries to sell to all of the managers.

arggh, I work in a ZOO!

(Posted by Burnt Out Grad)

I work in a place one would think would have the highest of professionalism and ethics. This place is a disaster. After putting up with verbal abuse, hostility and insane mood swings from my co-worker, I went to the head honcho of the department. I told him about her berating issues, treating me like a four year old, her overbearing behavior and histrionic antics. Hoping to find solace and maybe a solution, he told me she is "old school", I am being too sensitive and get over it. I was dumbstruck. The other kick in the head is he told me she's my supervisor. Since when? Am I such a moron that I need two people over me???

This kind of behavior seems to be a trend among middle aged power hungry career secretaries. I don't know what her problem is. I wouldn't be shocked if it were revealed she's got an addiction issue. Her erratic behavior thoroughly defines that of an addict.

(Posted by Anonymous)

At my job, I was called The Ice Queen because I could keep a straight face and even voice no matter what. Actually, the reason I treated them that way was because they were disgusting and had very nasty ways. I was the paralegal. One lawyer would pick boogers all day and wipe them on the files. When going through files I would find these little monsters. ewwwww. I would go to his office to tell him about his nasty habit and tell him I absolutely refused to touch the file or the contents. He was clearly embarrassed but glared at me. Then his brother, who worked with him, intercommed me to come to his office to talk about a new case and the file I was supposed to write up. He sat there at his desk, frantically picking boogers, totally grossing me out. When he finished talking and simultaneously escavating his notstrils, he tried to hand me the file. omg .... nooooo thanks. I refused to take the file and told him why, of course, with a straight face and even voice. I walked back to my little office that had no windows and no air. I would still close my door and lock it. (From time to time, the lawyers would try the handle and finding it locked would proceed to bang or even kick the door, all the while yelling to be let in. Emergency client or case. Yeah, so.) I heard him slam the files to the floor from his office and when his brother and another lawyer went to see why he was making such a commotion, he roared that The Ice Queen strikes again, meaning I refused to touch the papers until he got a brand new, clean file and washed his hands before handing me the file. Thereby making his work late or else undone.

The story continues after the jump.

(Posted by Anonymous)

My co-worker is the stupidest, most annoying person I have ever worked with. She sits next to me (a small waist-high wall separates us) so there's no escaping her idiocy. I stupidly tried to be nice when she first started her job. This lead to hour long discussions about why she never has had a boyfriend. I even hung out with her outside work once, and she accounced I was her best friend. She would blab endlessly about four word text messages from men trying to ditch her. The day I finally brought some headphones to work to block out her endless chatter, she got angry that I was ignoring her and began pounding on her desk. Now with my headphones, I don't have hear her slurp down her lunch every day and chew with her mouth open. She also asked me for a loan one day, which is strange since she's 43 and lives with her mom. I of course said no, but couldn't help but notice she went to the mall every day and bought expensive clothes.

(Posted by Anonymous)

I have the misfortune of working at the same place as an immature, loud, spoiled rotten to the core, highly overrated "co-worker". I put co-worker in quotations, because it's a stretch to even call her that. I don't even know where to begin. I guess the only positive thing about it is at least we work in different departments, so I don't have to see her too often! But, when I do see her, it makes my stomach turn! She is a 35 year old child. She has two kids, but could honestly care less about them. But, boy, they come in handy when she needs an excuse to be gone from work for long periods of time! An offense that the rest of us would be fired for, by the way! She has been working here for close to ten years and has taken countless leaves of absence. Two were for maternity leave, which was understandable, but the others were certainly not. For instance, she claimed that the doctor put her on a stress leave due to her manic depression, but yet, she always ended up some place far away. New Zealand, Venezuala, Italy, the Bahamas.

The story continues after the jump.

I work with someone who needs help. She is a chronic liar. When and if she shows up for work, she is always late. She will put 80+ hours worked on her time card...lucky if she put in 5 total hours in two weeks. Slams the boss constantly behind her back, even though this same boss looks past all of her terrible habits and has bent over backwards for her. I can't believe one thing that she says, probably because she can't look anyone in the eyes when she talks. She is loud & very unprofessional. She can b.s. with the best, but NEVER comes through with any projects she says she will do. Always borrowing money from boss/co-workers. Doesn't always pay back. I try to ignore it, but it's been two years. What should I do?

(Posted by Jag)

I've worked for my company as an assistant taking care of lunches, meetings, travel and schedules for 8 years. Today I blew my top and have to share what children I work with.

Every Wednesday I order lunch for various meetings in our predominantly male software development department. I have their lunches to their meeting room by noon each week and to try and change up the food selection. Today, I go with a new restaurant to feed their hungry mouths, a Mexican chain that is now offering delivery.

The restaurant called me directly at noon to say the delivery lady was running 10 minutes late so I let the meeting supervisor aware of when the food would be delivered. When the delivery arrived, I personally took it downstairs to the meeting. Wouldn't you know the "boys" were making wise cracks about it being late and how starved they were and whining like little bratty kids. Whether they were kidding or not, I was pissed at the way they reacted and how I felt they took me and my assistance for granted.

(Posted by Anonymous)

I have a coworker who is mentally abusing me. From Day 1, she has said awful things to me like..(wow, did you purposly get your hair cut like that? I'd ask for a refund!!) Now it has become worse!!She always goes on about herself and how wonderful she is and in the next sentence she is basicly telling me that I am ugly. I blow off what she says, but cry when I am alone. She really hurts my feelings!!

Everyone says that she is jealous of me. I have a highly sucessful husband and I don't have to work. I live in a dream home. I am very fortunate! I am much younger than her! However, she is 36, still lives with her parents in a trailer park. "36" and still with Mom and Dad- Loser!! She looks like Peggy Hill from Family Guy, if you ask me!! She has been fired from her last 3 jobs..(Gee, how did we get stuck w/ her- great job and way to go HR Dept) She hurts me to make herself feel better about being a loser. Does anyone know if this is something I can go to HR about? She is totally abusing me mentally!! Its non-stop!!

(Posted by Michelle)

Dave our computer technician

-comes in late
-leaves early
-leaves rotting food at his desk,and under others' desks.
-he farts non stop
-and burps,literally in my face
-plays his computer music really loud
-eats really smelly food all the time, and leaves it out.
-stands over my shoulder and grabs the gum out of my hand and eats it with out asking. And continues to do so after I've told him to ask first.
-listens in on my phone conversations and comments on them afterward, or asks dumb questions about it.
-now this one is strange....
he speaks in anomonopea:
like if my shoes are squeaking a little, he'll yell "SQUEAK" and continue to do this untill I respond. Or if my computer beeps, he'll yell "MEEEP" MEEEP MEEEP. and continue doing this until I tell him to stop.
-He's so rude to everyone, and constantly yells. And to top it off........ he smells like mildew.

I hate my coworker. She is the evil bitch monster from hell. "Sandy" is the daughter in law of my boss. She has a useless degree and no experience. I wonder how she got the job?? Her incompetence means that I have to fix her mistakes. I am so sick of it! I hate her!

(Posted by Anonymous)

I hate my coworker. She is manipulative, mean, and evil. If she doesn't like you (which is anyone who doesn't agree with her or kiss her behind) she will give you the cold shoulder at meetings and in the hall. She loves to gossip about anything and about everyone. She is a bully, whom management just promoted. I've spoken to my supervisor regarding my coworkers agressiveness. I was told that they have talked to her about it, what this means is that my coworker will just be nice around them, and turn into an evil witch once they're not looking.

(Posted by Evil Co-Worker)

Dear AE,

I know you think I'm stupid and that puts me in an excellent position to screw with you. Don't use your fake charm to sell me, I won't buy anything from you. Any shortcuts you think you'll find to get out of following procedures will only be temporary and when I discover what you've done, you and I are really gonna have trouble.

Calling me 'sweety' or overusing the ma'am bit while patting me on the back as you walk by only ensures that your orders get 'lost' or 'mishandled'. You've seen my errors when they were accidental...you should see what I can do on purpose.

Go ahead, complain to your boss that I'm so mean and nasty to you and tell her that if I find out you've complained about me I'll ruin your orders. Hmm...smartest (and truest) thing you've said since you got here.

I've been working with account executives for 16 years. There is no trick you can find that I haven't seen before. I know when you guys pad your orders, try to get the new gal in my dept. to be your secretary, or claim you're making calls out of town when you're actually sitting on your duff at home.

It's hard to say the exact moment our co-worker-----well, lost it.

- Maybe it was when she started swearing and spewing racial epithets when we had visitors in the office.
- Maybe it's when she yells loudly on her phone at her family in Ukrainian (at least if she fought in English, we could understand what she was saying and get all the gritty details).
- Maybe it was on December 23 when she called stores in New Orleans (yup, just this last year) asking if they could ship her clients Creole-styled Turduckens (the stuffed turkey, duck, chicken culinary thing) as gifts. (OK, an editorial comment, we live in Minnesota -- the land of Lutefisk and other bland food. No one wants a Turducken, much less a Creole-styled one, showing up on their door on Christmas day.) Unfortunately, they were all out and she had to drive the 100 feet to the department store across the street to purchase gift cards instead. No, the woman doesn't walk anywhere. Her feet hurt.
- Maybe it's because for the last three years, she has worn one of two outfits. See she's gained a little (50 lbs+ ) weight and she's working on losing it and just doesn't want to spend the money on new clothes. See her feet hurt and it's hard to get exercise. When she brings back pictures from vacation, they rarely have people in them. She takes pictures of the food she's eaten. "Check out this spread."

These two new girls are so annoying, that I'm even considerng leaving work. One of them is fine and the other she has this attitude that says 'she is the best and she has it all.' Well, she is from a rich family, but that doesn't give her the right to look down on other people. She even dresses casually when coming into the office. Her superiors like her, they are not complaining that she is not doing well in her job. She hasn't got a single client, but they are not saying anything. I hate her so much.

(Posted by Anonymous)

Everybody looks at porn. If you don't then either you're dead or lying. Still, there's a time and a place...and watching inappropriate movies at work during a normal work day is neither the time nor the place. My co-worker has taken it upon himself to peruse the indecents at all times of the day, whenever he's got a lighter work-load. The offensive materials range from mere pictures to full out videos with sound. Three problems with this are that he's slightly hard of hearing, so minimizing his already small 'porn' window in time for me to round the corner normally falls short. Number 2 is that he's relatively close to the kitchen. I just started this job, and if I notice it on the way to get my lunch then everyone notices it on the way to get their lunches. Finally, though we are an engineering firm, we do have a couple of women who work in our office. If this guy wants a reason to get fired quickly, he should keep popping up that picture of the splayed out ethnic woman who's being pleasured by someone else's entire hand (right...that's the kind of detail you can quickly get before he's able to catch on that you're watching). Needless to say, my new career with this company is safe while he's still here.

(Posted by Anonymous)

About 8 years ago, when I was a young 22 year old newlywed, I took a job at a small medical distributor. The three partners "retired"(READ division closed) from THE major international manufacturer of OTC drugs and first aid supplies and took one of their products with them (as a golden parachute) and formed this new company. 2 of the partners were "silent" (took a paycheck but weren't actively involved in the day-to-day business decisions) and the other 1 who I refer to as Jabba was the active partner (he got a much larger paycheck! I worked in the accounting department...)

First, Jabba turned out to be a major league drunk (drinking from sun up to sun down, even a stash in his desk) and massive eater of garlic. Second, Jabba was married to the Snow Queen aka White Witch of the North (in the Chronicles of Narnia fashion). While Jabba was busy being drunk and eating garlic, the evil Snow Queen was making all of the decisions. There was a 3rd person in the relationship- an odd little Goth chic who was the same age as me but was married to a transvestite and had a 6 year old daughter. Little Goth Chic was the Snow Queens clone physically and I imagine that she was involved sexually somehow with Jabba & SQ because she literally missed 60 days of work in one year and they didn't think a thing of it (for no other reason than hangovers!)...meanwhile if I was out one day all hell broke loose.

My 40 year old female co-worker talks in baby talk all day long. Instead of getting up from her desk and walking over to someone, she lets her voice carry thoughout the office (in baby talk) distracting all of the other co-workers. When she leaves the office for meetings, she calls me from her mobile phone to ask "Do you mish me?" It's even worse when she is in a bad mood and does not speak in baby talk-instead its a very creepy monotone/blank stare.

(Posted by Anonymous)

Why do I hate my coworker? Well, it could be because she treats the bathroom as her personal home away from home, keeping her cheesy romance novels in there so that she can read during her twice daily half hour trips. She also insists on talking to anyone who is in the bathroom while she is. I have caught her snooping through my desk drawers on three seperate occasions, and we don't even work in the same department. Not to mention the fact that she records the exact times that everyone enters and leaves the office in a little black notebook, she will comment if you take 5 extra minutes at lunch and actually ask you where you were (she has no authority over anyone). Needless to say, she makes coming into the office a real treat.

(Posted by Anonymous)

I hate my co-worker because he uses the term "broads" when referring to the women he dates. I especially hate him when he chooses to spout said term while reaching over (invariably for a donut), revealing why we've taken to calling him, "The Crack Attack."

Now, I could try to explain how his cologne makes me shudder, or why I cringe when he pops his gum and then shoots me the "finger guns." And I could talk about that time he bought our boss a copy of "The Banger Sisters" for her birthday, and then went on to describe how she could watch it when she's feeling "all psycho, you know, during that time of the month." Yes, nothing would bring me more bitchy glee than to discuss his shortcomings. But I fear I haven't the space nor the words to adequately express my hate.

Dearest Ice Queen,

You are my co-worker on a technicality. My boss is your boyfriend and he works out of the house you share and wants you to feel involved in his "life". This does not mean you can whiz through the office in a freaking nightie and ask me a million questions. Especially not ones that go "Did you do that whatchamcalit for the thingie he needed to pick up yesterday?"

I know your saying I'm just full of hate and I secretly want your boyfriend but since you don't know me here is the low down and dirty. Your man and I see eye to eye. Yes, we agree on many things but that's not what I'm talking about. Homeslice and I are exactly the same height. That won't work. Momma likes em tall. Besides he's old. Like my dad old. Not cool...not cool at all.

So please dearest stick to decorating or whatever it is you supposedly do. Because I show up to do hardcore officing. Little girls like you could wind up with a papercut or a staple to the forehead if your not careful.

Love Always,

The One who stares at you blankly at least twice everday.

I work with a woman that smells so bad that people have floor fans to blow the air AWAY from them.

She is of an ethic culture that considers it wrong to bath on regular basis or use products to prevent odor. Man oh man it's enough to make a girls eyes water.

I work in the IT area so have had to visit this user and I have to do my job in short time frames because I would spew my insides if I stayed too long. Her body odor has been addreseds and every time it happens she screams discrimination. SO WHAT YA DO?????

She's currently on leave and the fans have stopped (for now).

(Posted by Karlee)

Why I hate my co-workers? Because I'm tired of cleaning up their messes after the come in the next day hung over. I hate it when the "forget" how to do payroll and the fuck it up so much, we get charged for the mistake. I hate my co-workers because they drink in the office while I'm working on cleaning up their messes. I hate them and their fake attitudes. Bull shit your sorry!

I deal with this day in and day out and no matter what I do, I'm the whipping girl.

(Posted by Anonymous)

I started working at this great company in 2004. I went through 3 Interviews, IQ tests, and one accounting test. I thought I was set since I had been unemployed for 8 months, and the pay was great. The boss seemed nice and everyone there was wonderful, as I was introduced to them. Except when it came to the person that was going to train me. She was quiet and very cutthroat. She never smiled and was very standoffish. She was this tall fat African-American lady wearing a cheap wig. I immediately felt a chill. Her voice is that of a mosquito buzzing in your ear on a hot July night, when you're very sleepy. I kept clearing my throat wanting her to take the hint, but up to this day she hasn't.

Well the training has been the worst, she changes and omits information on her own will. She doesn't give me any information, and ignores and makes fun of everything. She criticizes my clothes. She makes my life really hard and if I don't get things right the first time - too bad, I'm assed out.

I was hired to take half of her workload, but we have equal positions. She talks down to me and doubts everything I have said or done. She's goes through everything I do. When she goes on vacation, I'm her backup. She will change all the passwords, so we have to get the IT person involved. She goes above and beyond to make me look like an incompetent fool, and tells everything I do wrong or right to our boss. The first week of me working there, she invited me to lunch and straight out told me no one informed her of my existence or that I would be her equal. She thought I was her replacement. Then when she comes back she makes sure to tell me all the mistakes that I have made.

1. Every day at 10:00 comes to his desk, which is right next mine (we don't even have a cubicle wall separating us), with a can of Coke and a bag of chips--Dorriots, pork rinds, funyuns, or fritos. He then loudly slurps his Coke--slurp slurp slurp and then crunches down on his chips with his mouth open so I can hear every crunch happening in his mouth. Then to top it all off he burps, constantly and loudly until 10:15 AM when his morning break is over. The sound of the burping are the loud long ones, the kinds that one does in the privacy of one's home. Finally, to make it better, the office smells like burped up pork rinds, dorritos, funyuns.

2. He steals chairs! Yes, he does. His previous work chair was a bit disgusting, to say the least. Our chairs at work our burgundy, but his was such a dull burgundy color. It had these stains all over them and if you sat in his chair it sort of leaned forward so you felt like you were going to fall off. His chair was definitely recognizable--the only one in the office that looked so weird and gross. One day we get to work and my other office mate notices that her chair looks different. Her chair used to be a bright burgundy, now it is dull with stains and slopes forwards. Seemed a bit coincidental, so we go to "Allen's" desk and see that his gross chair is no longer there and his chair is, all of a sudden, bright and burgundy. Methinks that someone swapped chairs without saying anything. When confronted, he played dumb, like we didn't know.

She takes advantage of the free coffee and employee discounts, bosses us veterans around, dresses like a 2 dollar hooker when she should be covering up, smothers us in saccharine sweetness, and just generally makes everyones skin crawl. Last week, my boss thanked me for not bitch slapping her. I have a feeling she won't be around very long.

I knew the second the new girl walked in that she just wasn't going to fit. I work with all females and a male boss at a local coffee shop. We all get along and work well together and even spend time outside of work together. The new girl, we'll call here Trixie, is a 35 (so she says) year old mother of three horribly behaved children, whom she brings to work even after being told not to. She loves to brag about how she is just a super mom, and has time to make tacky beaded jewelry! She admits she's poor, as are most of us working there, but comes to work in knee-high boots, tight skirts, tight velvet shirts circa 1995, and her hair all done up. She loves to brag about her deals at Good Will...hey I shop there too but I make it look good. Anyway, one day she had the nerve to tell one of our best workers that "we could probably get more tips if we all dressed nicer". Trixie was all decked out in her normal ridiculous attire while my coworker was wearing the company t-shirt and jeans. The next day that coworker and I worked together in t shirts and shorts and made a killing on tips. Maybe it's more about the service than cheap skanky clothes.

So it's a few years ago and I was living about an hour from where I grew up I had just had my daughter and her father came home and proclaimed he "had changed his mind"! Can you do that? So there I was with an infant no job and moving back to my home town. My mother was working for a Steel Company it was an office they bought and sold secondary crap really. Well I started coming in part time to help them get organized it was a husband and wife who owned the company. The husband whom I now refer to as Shrek (I wish I had a picture if there were ever a human who looked like a cartoon)! He calls me in his office and says I really like your work ethic you seem to be catching on I would like to offer you a job.

So cut to the good part about a year later he had hired an "old friend" who was a female, oh look I smell divorce! And that is what happened a few months later he and his wife are getting a divorce now Shrek up to this point was a pretty okay boss he liked to yell and scream and stomp his feet but that was about as far as it went. I was good at my job. Well the "old friend" then hires her sister who PS is a HUGE DRUNK and normally comes into the office after lunch smashed! So what does Shrek do he rewards her with a red mustang! Wow is it really possible he is nailing both of them! YEP as Drunky the clown let me know in one of her drunken stupors!

The saga continues, after the jump.

Technorati Tags: Booze, Mistress, steel

I work in a law office and I have a selfish, obnoxious co-worker who does absolutely no work. When she does have work she works hard at giving it to anyone else to do. She lies about her workload saying that she does things when she does not. She claims that she has a lot of work to do but when you see her in her office she is usually playing Internet video games.

To make matters worse, she brings three dogs to work and lets them run wild. They piss and poop all over the office leaving a trail of dog defecation all over the office for the reception to clean up. When you ask her to take care of her dogs her question is what-- you dont like dogs? Her pissing and pooping pets are only second to her 5 year old child who also comes to work running around and watching teletubbies at full volume for over an hour. This woman is an abomination to every hard working woman in the world.

(Posted by N.K.)

I hate my co-worker CW. He is the IT Guy and makes sure EVERYONE knows how much smarter he is then everyone else. He calls me trailer trash because I don't know how to use DOS. Who the fuck uses DOS anymore! Strange thing is that his house is two blocks from my house and we live no where near a trailer park or a trailer whatsoever. He never makes eye contact when he talks to you either; he always looks over you; like he's looking at the person behind you. If you don't bow down to his incredible genius he calls you names like "poopyhead"! He even said once to me, "I know you are but what am I" then he stomped off and locked himself in his office. You could see him on the surveillance monitor in there rocking back and forth with a frown on his face. We all stood there and laughed our asses off at him.

If one of the employees here is having problems at home, maybe divorce is impending. He makes sure to soften the blow by telling the person that he met his wife and married her after a week of dating. They are deeply in love and that maybe if they'd chosen the right person in the first place like he did this wouldn't be happening to them.

I work with this guy that is facing aggravated assault charges for "accidentally" breaking a beer bottle over someone's head. The reason you ask? Well apparently ( this is his story) he was at his friends warehouse party and a girl just decided to take a pee, right there in front of everyone. My co-worker being the noble person that he is went over and told her she couldn't do that there and was trying to escort her out of the room. The girls boyfriend came over and took a swing at my co-worker(let's refer to him as satan) so satan in a move to defend himself went to throw a punch back and forgot he had a beer bottle in his hand breaking it on this guys face and giving him something like 60 stitches on his face.

Here are some of the things I have to deal with at work. A fellow co-worker came over to talk to my neighbor and satan doesn't like this person very much so he started barking at her like a dog. He was standing up and looking right at her and imitating a dog. I have to sit across from this guy and he is constantly saying things under his breath with comments directed towards me. When I confront him on it he calls me paranoid and neurotic and tells my other co-workers that I am crazy. So needless to say my work environment has gone from tolerable to completely the opposite.

I have the dubious distinction of having held a variety of really shitty jobs. REALLY. SHITTY. JOBS. And while I do not want to make the argument that any of them are worse than what I have seen on this site, it is safe to say a couple of them are unique in this regard: the bullshit didn't end when I left. Be advised there is no happy ending to this story--- yet anyway--- but time is working on my side. Read on and you'll understand...

Job #1: I was an advertising sales assistant at an in-room hotel publication. Unbeknownst to me at the time I was hired, I was walking into a "situation"--- and by using the word 'situation' I am talking about a study in female office dynamics that makes "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" look like water ballet. You see, I was to work under two women and one was the immediate supervisor of the other. The uber-boss, we'll call her "Blanche", was brought in to supervise my under-boss, who I will henceforth call "Jane".

Jane had applied for the uber-boss position and was passed over in favor of an outside candidate (Blanche). This probably came to pass because Jane is a fucking psycho (as I soon learned): enabling her to supervise anyone would be on par with letting Michael Jackson run a day care facility. Bad idea. In any case, I had already become a pawn between two women who despised each other. Great.

In the interest of brevity I will forgo talking about Blanche's psychotic behavior, as Jane behavior was much more venal...

It started with small stuff: Jane would bitch at me for messing up her file system (I never know there was a 'system', looked piles of shit to me) or she would claim I did not send/give her some vital piece of paper work (and I'd re-send the emails addressed to her proving I did). That's roughly when she told me I had to email her each time I put something in her inbox (because it was not an 'in' box it was a compost heap).

I have a coworker that I simply cannot stand. We'll call him Doug. It's hard to know where to start when it comes to describing Doug, but I'll try.

For starters, there is Doug's hygiene. Before I started with the company, they were operating out of a much smaller workspace, and from what I hear, the guy who sat next to Doug actually had to go a supervisor and talk to him about how bad Doug smelled, between the B.O. and the farting. Now we're in a bigger office, but even so, the two people who sit closest to him keep fans on their desks to redirect the smell. I could not make this up.

He has long hair that is washed approximately once a week, from the looks of it. It's always pulled back in a greasy ponytail. His chair and his keyboard are literally coated in dandruff. I looked at his keyboard one day and couldn't believe it. He doesn't shave often enough, so he's always got major stubble, and his fingernails are black underneath from dirt. He's also probably a good 100 pounds overweight, which is his own choice and not really my problem in and of itself, but his clothing does not fit. He's got an enormous gut, and his button down shirts gape in the front and expose it. He also chooses to wear his pants under the gut, rather than over it, which results in dangerously low-riding pants and glimpses of his ass crack way more often than I care to think about. I just find it hard to believe, and a little sad, that someone has so little concern for hygiene and appearances.

I hope there's not a word limit because this is going to be the longest post EVER.

God...What can I say about Patty's.

I guess most of the shit...well, you just had to be there. But honestly, this was 100x crazier than that stupid Johnathan Antin Salon. WE should've had the reality show.

I was a stylit's assistant at one of "Baltimore's 'BEST' salons" for two years. We'll call it Patty's, for short.

I should probably first mention that the owner is about 200 years old, thick accent, white hair slicked back into a ponytail, always wears the same shirt &slacks with the top three buttons undone, white beard...more yellowish really; my boyfriend always said he looked like a wizzard. Now here's where it gets good. He had a trach which he'd always forget to put in the little metal piece so he'd have to stick his finger in it to speak. &when he actually remembered to wear it it would, on many occasions, pop out with a loud QUACKing sound and literally shoot across the room. One of the other assistants was also a nursing student so he volunteered her to clean it out for him. Lucky girl. He would smack the assistants on the ass and make innapropriate comments on a dialy basis, mind you we were all between the ages of 17-24. He found out that I had worked as a cocktail waitress at well...a stip club and commented that maybe he'd come and watch me dance (to which I insisted that I wasn't a dancer...&he then insisted that I should be).

Now, on to co-workers from hell...
Around december he hired a new stylist who'd recently closed her own shop due to financial issues and with her she brouhgt her own assistant. She herself was quite...well...she was a total cunt. She couldn't possibly work at one of the open stations, she made another stylist who'd been there for ages pack up and relocate to the other side of the shop. She was rude and just had this phony-ass demenor, like the kind of person that is all smiles to your face then runs and talks shit about you constantly. The girl she brought with her, we absolutely could not stand. She could not follow directions. Would not close properly even months after she'd been there. She was late EVERYDAY and left early EVERY night. She'd just...not show up at all. [&never got fired because the owner was terrified of black people.] We'd make fun of her mercilessly...but she was kind of slow to catch on. I feel bad about it now because she's a shitty employee, but she's definitely a fun girl to hang out with. But anyway, this stylist's clients , most of them anyway, were just as rude as she was. The salon offered ALL hair services, obviously meaning that we were trained on ALL hair types (simply stated, yes, even us white girls knew how to take care of balck people's hair); if one of us had to take on her client because her assistant, as usual, was late or had called out, she'd send them over and they'd scowl at you and act like you had no idea what you were doing, "uh are you gonna scrub hard enough?" (Sure, I can make your scalp bleed if that's what you'd like. I'll wear gloves) "you ever rinsed a perm before?"(No, I've only been working in the salon industry for four years. What's that?). And of course, they never tipped. She would yell out for you to bring her stuff from across the room, make you drop what you were doing to sweep her station, never said please or thank you.

Lets call her Shana. My last job at a software company I worked with the biggest bitch EVER. I've never worked with someone like this. She would go behind my back and tell my managers that I'm slow (totally opposite). I've never met anyone so insecure before. Everyone said that she was so jealous of the way I looked and dressed. People would come by to talk to me and her face turned bright red and she was upset and never spoke to the people who would talk to me.

She never talked to anyone in my group except for me. She was a backstabber and everything I said she opposed. I seriously haven't met a 'girl' so childish and jealous before. If I got attention, she would get jealous. A guy at the office use to come by and talk to me a lot and she never talked back to him.

She also had this weird relationship with a senior mgr we worked with. They would make sexual jokes..he would smack her in the ass with a folder and call her "dear" when he called her on his cellphone after office hours. She would stick her boobs out and her fat gut just to get anyone's attention.

She whored her way to the top because the insecure freaks I worked with loved the attention she would give them.

One time my trains were delayed and Shanna went online to check to see if I was really delayed! HA! What a LOSER! She made my days bitter and motivated me to get out of that environment. Also, she got so much attention for whoring around, that any work you did, didn't matter. The mgrs loved her cause she was engaging in some other activity outside of work. OFFICE WHORE to the max. Backstabbing bitch! I never have to deal with her again.

(Posted by Office whore/ass't)

Hi. I have a co-worker that makes my job a living hell. I hate him. I honestly do. I work for a firm that usually hires one person fresh out of college each year. This year my boss hired a new guy. We will call him "Timmy". Timmy has got to be the dumbest guy I have ever come into contact with. First things first. Timmy has a stuttering/mumbling problem. I cannot understand what he is saying. Ever. And its not just me. We have started calling him "re-run" behind his back, because when we says something, the person he is talking to will say "what?" or "huh?", and then Timmy will have to repeat what he just said.

Also, our job is 75% computer related. Guess what? Timmy cannot type. At all. You put him in front of a computer, and it will take him up to 2 minutes to type a single sentence. To further piss me off. Timmy has joked about this by saying "guess I should have taken a typing class instead of a bowling class in college". This makes my blood boil. I didn't even know you could graduate from college not knowing how to type! Furthermore, Timmy is one of those people, who when I am working on a project will come over, lean on your desk, and STATE THE OBVIOUS about any task at hand. THIS KILLS ME! For instance, if I am typing on my computer, he will come over and say "Hey bud, what you doing there? Typing?". I mean...give me a break. I really hate him. And I'm thinking about changing jobs, just because I hate him so much.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

(Posted by Will)

I am ashamed to admit that while I have my Master's degree, I spend 8 hours a day sharing a 1/2 cubicle with the world's most aggregating co-worker. That's right - 1/2 cubicle, not even a whole one.

My working days start off at 7:50 am a 20 minute serenade of her slurping her coffee, followed by the downing of her first bag of hoops (a sort of stinky corn-nut / ring ding chip). This is mixed in with the latest news of her children's potty training stories - apparently these kids are not toilet trained at 2 and 4 years old.

Luckily for me, her husband - who is 10 years younger than her and barely over the age of 24, just was released 2 weeks early from rehab, where he was curing himself of a cocaine addiction. Amazingly, he beat this habit in 2 weeks and was released early - he found God, so now they are religious. As he is not "able" to work, I get to hear about how she chose to buy live mice (that's right, you read correctly) for their pet boa constrictor, dog food for the bison frische dog and crickets for their dragon lizard, in lieu of fresh fruit for the kids. She truly believes that fruit roll ups are a good substitute.

So when I am not hearing about hubby's rehab or the irritating habits of her offspring, I can listen to her crack every joint in her body. She speaks in this hushed whisper and love to lean in close to you. My skin crawls when this happens but I cannot escape - she blocks the opening of our cubicle and I am literally trapped listening. Two weeks ago I actually yelled at her to stop telling me a story about how her one kid made four accidents that morning so she had to change - even the yelling did not deter her. She would do well as a telemarketer.

I have a co-worker named "Lola" who is nice to my face but as soon as I leave she is nothing but mean. She talks about me behind my back and used to crank call me in the middle of the night when she found out I was dating another co worker she had a thing for. But when I confronted her she always says she does not have any problems with me.

I also have another co wokrer named "Christine" who makes up stories about me to my boss. Fortunately my boss does not believe them. She also "cries" when confronted about anything & can stop crying on command. She wanted me to work in this office with her & agreed to everything I suggested, then tries to get me fired every other day.

(Posted by T.S.)

I do not simply hate my co-worker Tom, I loathe him. We work in a bank together and he seems to think it's funny to make my life a living hell. Although we are the same age, he will actually revert back to grade school and say things to our manager like "Who do you like better, me or Becky?" He also loves to talk about how much of a bonus payout he gets from referring friends to the bank to open checking accounts. He makes it seem like the bank would be nothing without him bringing in business, but what's truly funny is, his friends close their accounts within two weeks.

On top of this, Tom burps in our faces, makes fun of the way people look (apparently I look too skinny and probably throw up all my meals or don't eat at all, according to him) and calls myself and the other women "stupid fucking morons" behind our backs. Once when I was helping a customer, Tom stepped in, called a banker and take them from me in order to get referral points-even though it wasn't his customer and he had one of his own.

He also loves to call me a racist and tells everyone I hate Mexicans (he is Mexican) even though I am friends with the other Mexican people who work there. He claims I am a Nazi who wants to kill his people, despite the fact that I am made up of mixed race myself and get along fine with my other co-workers. He has even once talked to me about how ignorant I am for not speaking Polish and how I need lessons in speaking my "native language", then was unable to pronounce my last name...which is actually a common polish surname where I live. He also likes getting in my way, poking me, and crying out that I've infected him with my germs, and sitting at my favorite spot...simply because he knows I love to sit there and for no reason other than that. That's ok though, because as soon as I put my two weeks notice in, I'm speed dialing HR and I'll give him a firing to remember!

I worked in a cubicle farm with low cubicles: only about 4 feet tall. All noise from anywhere in the large room carried far and wide. I sat next to a man with, shall we say, volume control issues. He spoke loudly in general, but when he was on the phone he seemed incapable of talking below a shout.

This was annoying enough. But he spoke to his wife 2 times a day, and always in the most patronizing way. He would lecture her about everything: the clothes she wore, her friends, the way she went to the supermarket, the errands she needed to run. He wasn't much of a looker, but the photo on his desk showed her to be drop dead gorgeous. I wanted to grab the receiver and tell her that she could do so, so much better.

The worst is yet to come. They would have very long very involved conversations about meat. About what meat they had for dinner last night, and what meat they were going to have for dinner tonight. Beef, ham, pork... always meat. Odd, but it wasn't until one day when I had to hear a conversation that went something like: "I really enjoyed bacon last night. I really, really enjoyed it. I mean, REALLY liked bacon. We should have bacon more often." And then he sort of growled, and it hit me: they weren't talking about meat, they were talking about sex acts! Their conversations about meat were thinly veiled discussions of their sex life! From then on, I just wanted to die every time their conversation turned to "dinner."

(Posted by Anonymous)

Several years ago, I worked for the local police department in a sweet job in the warrants and booking department, the office of which was located inside the jail building. I was stoked to work there, having just started taking college classes for Criminal Justice. Bonus- I worked graveyard, which, while being hell on one's social life, was the most exciting time to be in that job, and paid a small shift differential.

A couple of the chicks on my shift were kinda ghetto- baby mama types who got government assistance. I have no idea what their qualifications were to get hired, but they had both been there since before I started.

One of them, Robyn, was about five months pregnant with baby number two by baby daddy number two. She admitted laughingly to everyone that she wasn't sure which of three guys was the father. She also regularly knew the various thugs and gangbanger types we booked in- some of them were exboyfriends. Class act, I know. Also, she didn't even have custody of her first kid- a toddler that her mother was raising.

Robyn was a party type, and openly had continued partying (drinking and smoking, both Newports and pot) during her pregnancy. One night, she had a bag of weed in her purse, and cracked herself up by showing it to me and a couple of other girls in the office.

I was furious. Despite my better judgment, I contacted my supervisor and told her. Another girl in my office, Shannon, did the same thing.

If I knew how it would wind up, I would have skipped chain of command altogether and called in a police officer. In case you don't know, bringing contraband into a jail is a felony.

Dearest Ice Queen,

You are my co-worker on a technicality. My boss is your boyfriend and he works out of the house you share and wants you to feel involved in his "life". This does not mean you can whiz through the office in a freaking nightie and ask me a million questions. Especially not ones that go "Did you do that whatchamcalit for the thingie he needed to pick up yesterday?"

I know your saying I'm just full of hate and I secretly want your boyfriend but since you don't know me here is the low down and dirty. Your man and I see eye to eye. Yes, we agree on many things but that's not what I'm talking about. Homeslice and I are exactly the same height. That won't work. Momma likes em tall. Besides he's old. Like my dad old. Not cool...not cool at all.

So please dearest stick to decorating or whatever it is you supposedly do. Because I show up to do hardcore officing. Little girls like you could wind up with a papercut or a staple to the forehead if your not careful.

Love Always,

The One who stares at you blankly at least twice everday.

(Posted by P.C.)