Dear AE,
I know you think I'm stupid and that puts me in an excellent position to screw with you. Don't use your fake charm to sell me, I won't buy anything from you. Any shortcuts you think you'll find to get out of following procedures will only be temporary and when I discover what you've done, you and I are really gonna have trouble.
Calling me 'sweety' or overusing the ma'am bit while patting me on the back as you walk by only ensures that your orders get 'lost' or 'mishandled'. You've seen my errors when they were accidental...you should see what I can do on purpose.
Go ahead, complain to your boss that I'm so mean and nasty to you and tell her that if I find out you've complained about me I'll ruin your orders. Hmm...smartest (and truest) thing you've said since you got here.
I've been working with account executives for 16 years. There is no trick you can find that I haven't seen before. I know when you guys pad your orders, try to get the new gal in my dept. to be your secretary, or claim you're making calls out of town when you're actually sitting on your duff at home.
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