Job Swill

My boss is begging to be sued...mostly because of his own blind eye toward the actions of our operations manager, whom I shall call Tammy.

Earlier this year, it was made known (though not by any specific distribution of policy or official announcement) that family members or friends of employees would no longer be hired.

(It should be mentioned that the company has experienced at least part of its growth in the past 3 years due to the buddy system of employment. My husband and I both work here in two different capacities, IT and accounting. But my husband did not recommend or hire me- the company president did.)

Since then, according to the grapevine, two women have been specifically told by Tammy that their family member could not come apply for a job- one woman whose daughter wanted to apply, another whose brother sought to work here.

(Posted by Skwerly)

I hate my coworker. She is manipulative, mean, and evil. If she doesn't like you (which is anyone who doesn't agree with her or kiss her behind) she will give you the cold shoulder at meetings and in the hall. She loves to gossip about anything and about everyone. She is a bully, whom management just promoted. I've spoken to my supervisor regarding my coworkers agressiveness. I was told that they have talked to her about it, what this means is that my coworker will just be nice around them, and turn into an evil witch once they're not looking.

(Posted by Evil Co-Worker)

I love my job, mainly because I have one. I don't do anything special, I'm a purchasing assistant for a vacuum cleaner supply distributor. My hours are good, my office is nice, my boss is great. Where else can you work in an office position and wear sweats when its cold or you don't feel good? The owner has a house across the country and spends at least 3 months out of the year there. It's great!! That's why I love my job- nothing fancy, and no major pressure, unless you really screw something up.

(Posted by B.)

"The interview lasted 1 hour. I lied once every 7 minutes."

Last night I drove 60 miles for a job interview at 7pm. They were really nice guys. A Marketing Director of a Very Big Financial Company and an agency guy.

My CV has 20 years experience, 7 employers, 1 postgraduate qualification and 3 instances of the word 'dynamic'. The interview lasted 1 hour. I lied once every 7 minutes. Sometimes I lie once every 3 minutes. That's a bad sign.

Here are some of last night's lies:

FALSE: "I don't mind working away from home; it gets me away from my 15 yo daughter."
TRUE: I resent every second that work takes me away from my family.

FALSE: "Thanks for explaining the brief, it sounds really exciting."
TRUE: Saddam Hussain will win the Nobel Peace Prize before this brief delivers value.

I thought it was impossible to find a job I liked, but last Fall I found it. I worked at a fun, colorful candy store in New York City where the employees, management and co-workers where amazing.

Then, reality check!

The nice, gay, fabulous, magnificent general manager quit and ran as fast as his gold sneakers could take him. I worried, but I never thought it would be this bad.

The owner, a socialite, Hamptonite, fabulously fashionable being has no clue of what is going on under her nose. People stealing, showing up late, taking advantage of her niceness. Here is to Frank & Jan, the most irresponsible and non-business savvy people in the world. I have an MBA Frank! Dont try to explain to me what a P&L is! I can teach you that.

Do I sound bitter? I know! These 2 people believe that the world begins and ends with a 21 year old store manager named Zhariff. Real name. This guy is still a college student, no training in the real world and he believes that he is God's gift to women. His hormones are raging. I dont think there is a girl in that store that he hasn't slept with yet. And the funny thing is that he dates them, promotes them, and then, of course, fires them.

First of all I hate all you people who are phoney and try to get ahead in the work place by pretending like you don't fart or milk the time clock or take total advantage of your position. All you "yes" girls and boys need to get real and quit kissing the bosses ass think outside the box once in a freaking while. Say what you think and not what you think people want to hear. Favortism kills me. I HATE ASS KISSERS. You know some bosses have there little crew ass kissers and tattlers that are always in your business and up your ass watching your every move so they have something to impress the boss with. I guess it takes all kinds but what really pisses me off the most is that it is almost impossible to get ahead in the world of business based on your ability to do your job. If you want to get ahead you have to suck the boss off or kiss his/her ass. IT MAKES ME WANNA PUKE.

(Posted by YOU SUCK)

Dear AE,

I know you think I'm stupid and that puts me in an excellent position to screw with you. Don't use your fake charm to sell me, I won't buy anything from you. Any shortcuts you think you'll find to get out of following procedures will only be temporary and when I discover what you've done, you and I are really gonna have trouble.

Calling me 'sweety' or overusing the ma'am bit while patting me on the back as you walk by only ensures that your orders get 'lost' or 'mishandled'. You've seen my errors when they were accidental...you should see what I can do on purpose.

Go ahead, complain to your boss that I'm so mean and nasty to you and tell her that if I find out you've complained about me I'll ruin your orders. Hmm...smartest (and truest) thing you've said since you got here.

I've been working with account executives for 16 years. There is no trick you can find that I haven't seen before. I know when you guys pad your orders, try to get the new gal in my dept. to be your secretary, or claim you're making calls out of town when you're actually sitting on your duff at home.

It's hard to say the exact moment our co-worker-----well, lost it.

- Maybe it was when she started swearing and spewing racial epithets when we had visitors in the office.
- Maybe it's when she yells loudly on her phone at her family in Ukrainian (at least if she fought in English, we could understand what she was saying and get all the gritty details).
- Maybe it was on December 23 when she called stores in New Orleans (yup, just this last year) asking if they could ship her clients Creole-styled Turduckens (the stuffed turkey, duck, chicken culinary thing) as gifts. (OK, an editorial comment, we live in Minnesota -- the land of Lutefisk and other bland food. No one wants a Turducken, much less a Creole-styled one, showing up on their door on Christmas day.) Unfortunately, they were all out and she had to drive the 100 feet to the department store across the street to purchase gift cards instead. No, the woman doesn't walk anywhere. Her feet hurt.
- Maybe it's because for the last three years, she has worn one of two outfits. See she's gained a little (50 lbs+ ) weight and she's working on losing it and just doesn't want to spend the money on new clothes. See her feet hurt and it's hard to get exercise. When she brings back pictures from vacation, they rarely have people in them. She takes pictures of the food she's eaten. "Check out this spread."

He's about to be fired, which is a very good thing. Billy Budd (Editor's note: name has been changed) from Newport Rhode Island, I honestly pray you are reading this, in fact, I'm going to send the link to this page when your ass is finally gone. How did you lie your way past the interview at my beloved company? How the hell did you manage to keep your job for almost a full year by doing almost nothing? You were sup-par at best as a entry-level analyst, yet you were hired as senior-level and got paid more than me, and I had to train you. Which would have been ok, but you never showed an ounce of initiative or drive and this pisses me off more than anything. 'Here's a position full of opportunity and pays you more than you deserve' your answer? 'no, i don't want it, i'm going to piss it away instead and make all my co-workers hate me.'

You are the laziest, most worthless person I have had to work with--ever. That's counting Burger king when I was 19. No exaggeration dude, live with that fact.

You love to blame other people for your shortcomings, especially me. Oh did you ever love to blame me for all the crap you screwed up on. how is it that people I gave half the training I gave you , went 10 times farther? Yet you look at me like i'm the bad guy because you weren't spoon-food every little detail like a whiny little 13 year old needy bitch?

When I was in high school I worked at an Ice cream shop. We had these huge cans of caramel and one day I was trying to reopen one, someone had left the lid attached to the can so, it was all sticky of course. I was trying to lift up the lid, it slipped and sliced my middle finger on my right hand. Once I got it to stop bleeding I called the owner to ask what I should do. When I finished telling him what I had done he snapped back with "Well what did you do that for? That's like sticking your finger in a mouse trap to see if it works!"