Job Swill

When I was in high school I worked at an Ice cream shop. We had these huge cans of caramel and one day I was trying to reopen one, someone had left the lid attached to the can so, it was all sticky of course. I was trying to lift up the lid, it slipped and sliced my middle finger on my right hand. Once I got it to stop bleeding I called the owner to ask what I should do. When I finished telling him what I had done he snapped back with "Well what did you do that for? That's like sticking your finger in a mouse trap to see if it works!"

These two new girls are so annoying, that I'm even considerng leaving work. One of them is fine and the other she has this attitude that says 'she is the best and she has it all.' Well, she is from a rich family, but that doesn't give her the right to look down on other people. She even dresses casually when coming into the office. Her superiors like her, they are not complaining that she is not doing well in her job. She hasn't got a single client, but they are not saying anything. I hate her so much.

(Posted by Anonymous)

Everybody looks at porn. If you don't then either you're dead or lying. Still, there's a time and a place...and watching inappropriate movies at work during a normal work day is neither the time nor the place. My co-worker has taken it upon himself to peruse the indecents at all times of the day, whenever he's got a lighter work-load. The offensive materials range from mere pictures to full out videos with sound. Three problems with this are that he's slightly hard of hearing, so minimizing his already small 'porn' window in time for me to round the corner normally falls short. Number 2 is that he's relatively close to the kitchen. I just started this job, and if I notice it on the way to get my lunch then everyone notices it on the way to get their lunches. Finally, though we are an engineering firm, we do have a couple of women who work in our office. If this guy wants a reason to get fired quickly, he should keep popping up that picture of the splayed out ethnic woman who's being pleasured by someone else's entire hand (right...that's the kind of detail you can quickly get before he's able to catch on that you're watching). Needless to say, my new career with this company is safe while he's still here.

(Posted by Anonymous)

About 8 years ago, when I was a young 22 year old newlywed, I took a job at a small medical distributor. The three partners "retired"(READ division closed) from THE major international manufacturer of OTC drugs and first aid supplies and took one of their products with them (as a golden parachute) and formed this new company. 2 of the partners were "silent" (took a paycheck but weren't actively involved in the day-to-day business decisions) and the other 1 who I refer to as Jabba was the active partner (he got a much larger paycheck! I worked in the accounting department...)

First, Jabba turned out to be a major league drunk (drinking from sun up to sun down, even a stash in his desk) and massive eater of garlic. Second, Jabba was married to the Snow Queen aka White Witch of the North (in the Chronicles of Narnia fashion). While Jabba was busy being drunk and eating garlic, the evil Snow Queen was making all of the decisions. There was a 3rd person in the relationship- an odd little Goth chic who was the same age as me but was married to a transvestite and had a 6 year old daughter. Little Goth Chic was the Snow Queens clone physically and I imagine that she was involved sexually somehow with Jabba & SQ because she literally missed 60 days of work in one year and they didn't think a thing of it (for no other reason than hangovers!)...meanwhile if I was out one day all hell broke loose.

My 40 year old female co-worker talks in baby talk all day long. Instead of getting up from her desk and walking over to someone, she lets her voice carry thoughout the office (in baby talk) distracting all of the other co-workers. When she leaves the office for meetings, she calls me from her mobile phone to ask "Do you mish me?" It's even worse when she is in a bad mood and does not speak in baby talk-instead its a very creepy monotone/blank stare.

(Posted by Anonymous)

Why do I hate my coworker? Well, it could be because she treats the bathroom as her personal home away from home, keeping her cheesy romance novels in there so that she can read during her twice daily half hour trips. She also insists on talking to anyone who is in the bathroom while she is. I have caught her snooping through my desk drawers on three seperate occasions, and we don't even work in the same department. Not to mention the fact that she records the exact times that everyone enters and leaves the office in a little black notebook, she will comment if you take 5 extra minutes at lunch and actually ask you where you were (she has no authority over anyone). Needless to say, she makes coming into the office a real treat.

(Posted by Anonymous)

I hate my co-worker because he uses the term "broads" when referring to the women he dates. I especially hate him when he chooses to spout said term while reaching over (invariably for a donut), revealing why we've taken to calling him, "The Crack Attack."

Now, I could try to explain how his cologne makes me shudder, or why I cringe when he pops his gum and then shoots me the "finger guns." And I could talk about that time he bought our boss a copy of "The Banger Sisters" for her birthday, and then went on to describe how she could watch it when she's feeling "all psycho, you know, during that time of the month." Yes, nothing would bring me more bitchy glee than to discuss his shortcomings. But I fear I haven't the space nor the words to adequately express my hate.

Dearest Ice Queen,

You are my co-worker on a technicality. My boss is your boyfriend and he works out of the house you share and wants you to feel involved in his "life". This does not mean you can whiz through the office in a freaking nightie and ask me a million questions. Especially not ones that go "Did you do that whatchamcalit for the thingie he needed to pick up yesterday?"

I know your saying I'm just full of hate and I secretly want your boyfriend but since you don't know me here is the low down and dirty. Your man and I see eye to eye. Yes, we agree on many things but that's not what I'm talking about. Homeslice and I are exactly the same height. That won't work. Momma likes em tall. Besides he's old. Like my dad old. Not cool...not cool at all.

So please dearest stick to decorating or whatever it is you supposedly do. Because I show up to do hardcore officing. Little girls like you could wind up with a papercut or a staple to the forehead if your not careful.

Love Always,

The One who stares at you blankly at least twice everday.

I work with a woman that smells so bad that people have floor fans to blow the air AWAY from them.

She is of an ethic culture that considers it wrong to bath on regular basis or use products to prevent odor. Man oh man it's enough to make a girls eyes water.

I work in the IT area so have had to visit this user and I have to do my job in short time frames because I would spew my insides if I stayed too long. Her body odor has been addreseds and every time it happens she screams discrimination. SO WHAT YA DO?????

She's currently on leave and the fans have stopped (for now).

(Posted by Karlee)

I was in the furniture industry and the company was "down-sized" and several of us was fired. I collected a some unemployment and I ran out of money so...my office manager at the furniture place suggested this other company was looking for a Service Coordinator or a Scheduler. She felt I would be good for this position due to my expertise in furniture and she had gotten a cushy job at a major furniture store and this upholsterer was one of her Service Techs for repairs. I apply, I get the job because of her ref and lo and behold...I really like this job at first. Everyone is really nice. But small things start to creep up. Like I am on the books, but he writes my check out of his check book. I do not see any deductions for State Taxes and Social Security..And Holidays...There are NO paid holidays whatsoever. None I tell you!!! They are Turkish and not even the Muslim holidays are paid. No sick days, no excused days, no days period. You lose a day you lose your pay.