Job Swill

Welcome To Job Swill!

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:57:07 -0800

What is Job Swill, you ask? It's a blog about jobs and on the job experiences - the good, the bad and the ugly. At Job Swill all of the content is submitted by you, the worker. If you're one to share, you think of this as free therapy, and other readers will act as your shrink.

Do you have a job that you just hate? Do you get away with murder at work? Have you ever had a boss or co-worker that you couldn't stand? Is your job the best job ever? Have you ever had to deal with the client from hell? Do you like sharing? Job Swill wants to hear about every last detail, and then share them with the world. This way you can enjoy the moral support and ranting of your fellow job lovers and haters.

Send us your story to have it published on Job Swill! YOU WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS. Your name nor email address will be published when your story is posted (unless you want us to.

For Everyone Who's Ever Had An Office Crush...

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:42:02 -0800

Caught in The Crossfire

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:54:54 -0800

I used to be a receptionist in an office and then moved up to an assistant position. For a while, it seemed like we had a rotation of temps in the position after me, who either didn't want the job, or who just weren't the right fit.

Unfortunately for me, that meant that I was constantly being pulled back up to the front desk to train every new person that showed up, even though it was no longer a part of my job description.

Finally, I passed along the resume of a girl whom I had known in college. We weren't really friends--more acquaintances really and had simply lived in the same dorm at one point in time.

Needless to say, I trained her and determined that I would finally wash my hands of the whole reception situation. I was so happy that she would be the new go-to gal from here on out.

There Is One in Every Work Place

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 11:36:32 -0800

Common Characteristics:

Loud and opinionated: speaks up about anything and is forceful with opinion.

Figure pointing: trying to discredit anyone at any opportunity.

Multi Focused: Meaning, seems to be focused every where they shouldn't be, and hardly where they should be.

Bossy: Has a way to verbalize in a manner that speaks down to people and over people.

Energy Obsorbing: What ever the issue, and there are many, this person has to speak about it intensely and command everyone's attention to it. Keeping others from focusing on there work and using the energy on what every the intense emergency is. example: a policy about toilet paper and while you are listening, a policy about policies for about two hours.

Mistaker/Cover upper: Because this person spends so much energy and time on just about everything, this person makes a lot of mistakes, then tries to cover it up by blaming others in office or where ever.

Credit taker: Takes credit for suggested way to do or handle something, right in front, or behind your back. Doesn't matter. Really doesn't think twice about it.

Tripper: Trips off at any thing that the brain cannot handle at the moment.
Trips off loudly, verbally and physically. A mere mention of anything to redirect this persons behavior, or to gently guide it in another direction is bound to trip this person off out of know where. Oh, who am I kidding, it could be just about anything...REALLY!

The Two-Faced Co-Worker

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 10:22:06 -0800

I recently went back to work after being sick for 3 years. After 4 months, I am about to explode. There is this one girl there who is constantly yelling in my face if I do anything or order anything without her approval. She is not my boss but is boss's pet and jealous. She is from El Savador and just became a US citizen. She will be nice one minute and then screaming in my face the next. We have actual staff meetings so she can yell at me in front of everyone. She is hostile, irrate and out of control. She is constantly looking over my shoulder to find a mistake. I work for an orthodontist who is oblivious to the trauma this evil bitch has caused. Yesterday, she was in my face so close, I almost punched her. Please help me!

(Posted by Anonymous)

Favoritism in the Workplace

Thu, 31 May 2007 08:10:11 -0800

If you look up the word favoritism in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of my place of employment! It is by far the worst place I have ever seen as far as equal treatment goes. The so called administration hold some employees to a high standard while turning a blind eye to what others do (or fail to do). It's all about whether or not they like you. If they like you, you can do whatever you want when you want without any fear of consequences. However, if they don't like you, you had better watch your back and document everything that happens, because chances are, you may need it in court one day.

One classic example is my department. One guy made an honest mistake. They made him live in fear that he would be fired for this very honest and easily fixed mistake. Luckily, they couldn't fire him for it, so he had nothing to worry about, but it's just the principle of the thing! Yet, we have this one fat piece of waste who misses work constantly (has not worked a full week since February of this year), dresses inappropriately, talks trash about the powers that be (who LOVE HER!), is damn near impossible to get in touch with when she is actually at work, spreads hateful rumors about other employees being gay, and is just an all around low life. But, you can't get the so called bosses to sniff in her direction.

The story continues ...

(Posted by Anonymous)

The World is Full of Colorful Co-Workers

Thu, 24 May 2007 10:58:17 -0800

Ok, so I'm working full-time for a State office while trying to get into something more in 'my field'....

There is no limit to the odd characters who sit around me....I'm surrounded by the Office Schizo, a very paranoid, very agitated middle aged woman who believes that ABSOLUTELY every conversation & email is about destroying her. Symptoms include: sneaking glances at me across the aisle w/narrowed eyes, all the while popping blackheads.

Then there's Allergy Guy whom I think has Tourettes'. He clears his throat 1000+ times per day, but if it's only throat clearing, we're lucky. Other times, it's snorting of mucus back into his little pea brain.

& most delightful of all, there's Creepy Pakistani Pervert Guy. He is in the cube next to me & takes to standing up & looking around (presumably to try & look down my shirt). Otherwise, he slurps his tea very loudly & apparently has a Doritos addiction as i hear him rummaging around in his file cabinet every 2 minutes to dig around for chips. After the chomping subsides, he gets back up again & hovers over his desk, playing w/papers. He's already been accused of trying to kiss a developmentally delayed girl that works as a file clerk in the elevator. He's balding & in his 50s & has hair like Animal from the Muppets. & he writes creepy poetry which he has gotten someone to publish into a book & tries to sell to all of the managers.

arggh, I work in a ZOO!

(Posted by Burnt Out Grad)

Why Does We Always Mean Me?

Thu, 17 May 2007 10:02:32 -0800

I work in a place one would think would have the highest of professionalism and ethics. This place is a disaster. After putting up with verbal abuse, hostility and insane mood swings from my co-worker, I went to the head honcho of the department. I told him about her berating issues, treating me like a four year old, her overbearing behavior and histrionic antics. Hoping to find solace and maybe a solution, he told me she is "old school", I am being too sensitive and get over it. I was dumbstruck. The other kick in the head is he told me she's my supervisor. Since when? Am I such a moron that I need two people over me???

This kind of behavior seems to be a trend among middle aged power hungry career secretaries. I don't know what her problem is. I wouldn't be shocked if it were revealed she's got an addiction issue. Her erratic behavior thoroughly defines that of an addict.

(Posted by Anonymous)

Lawyers Who Pick Boogers, Oh My!

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 10:41:13 -0800

At my job, I was called The Ice Queen because I could keep a straight face and even voice no matter what. Actually, the reason I treated them that way was because they were disgusting and had very nasty ways. I was the paralegal. One lawyer would pick boogers all day and wipe them on the files. When going through files I would find these little monsters. ewwwww. I would go to his office to tell him about his nasty habit and tell him I absolutely refused to touch the file or the contents. He was clearly embarrassed but glared at me. Then his brother, who worked with him, intercommed me to come to his office to talk about a new case and the file I was supposed to write up. He sat there at his desk, frantically picking boogers, totally grossing me out. When he finished talking and simultaneously escavating his notstrils, he tried to hand me the file. omg .... nooooo thanks. I refused to take the file and told him why, of course, with a straight face and even voice. I walked back to my little office that had no windows and no air. I would still close my door and lock it. (From time to time, the lawyers would try the handle and finding it locked would proceed to bang or even kick the door, all the while yelling to be let in. Emergency client or case. Yeah, so.) I heard him slam the files to the floor from his office and when his brother and another lawyer went to see why he was making such a commotion, he roared that The Ice Queen strikes again, meaning I refused to touch the papers until he got a brand new, clean file and washed his hands before handing me the file. Thereby making his work late or else undone.

The story continues after the jump.

(Posted by Anonymous)

Some People Just Don't Listen

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 14:03:11 -0800

I used to answer the general information line at a large music venue. One day I get a call from a man asking if we have any concerts for children available. I check the schedule and say:

"There is the Salute to Bugs Bunny Concert with the Philharmonic." I then see that that concert was last week. "Oh, I'm sorry sir that concert has passed. It was last Saturday."

The man replied "So, it's not avaiable?"

"Not unless you have a time machine."

There was a long pause before finally- "What?"

"No, it's not available sir."

(Posted by Michael)

Truly a Co-Worker From Hell

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 13:35:29 -0800

My co-worker is the stupidest, most annoying person I have ever worked with. She sits next to me (a small waist-high wall separates us) so there's no escaping her idiocy. I stupidly tried to be nice when she first started her job. This lead to hour long discussions about why she never has had a boyfriend. I even hung out with her outside work once, and she accounced I was her best friend. She would blab endlessly about four word text messages from men trying to ditch her. The day I finally brought some headphones to work to block out her endless chatter, she got angry that I was ignoring her and began pounding on her desk. Now with my headphones, I don't have hear her slurp down her lunch every day and chew with her mouth open. She also asked me for a loan one day, which is strange since she's 43 and lives with her mom. I of course said no, but couldn't help but notice she went to the mall every day and bought expensive clothes.

(Posted by Anonymous)

Beware of Drycleaners

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 10:36:36 -0800

I answered an ad in my local paper for a "Customer Service" position at a dry cleaners place. 2 weeks after I was there, the owner asked if I wanted to learn the bookkeeping because their receptionist was going on maternity leave. They already had a bookkeeper who worked there part-time, so I said I would try it. They never told me I had to learn how to do the payroll, something I have never learned to do, let alone their bookkeeping was pretty bad. The pregnant gal that was training me was a real bitch and not very helpful. I was fired 1 day after my birthday (I was there for exactly 1 month). 2 days later, they changed the ad in the paper to "Office Coordinator". I always thought that dry cleaner place was a reputable place, but the workers like to pocket the money no matter what the amount if they find it in customers clothing.

(Posted by Anonymous)

The Case of the Immature, Loud, Spoiled, Rotten to the Core, Highly Overrated "Co-Worker"

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 11:59:24 -0800

I have the misfortune of working at the same place as an immature, loud, spoiled rotten to the core, highly overrated "co-worker". I put co-worker in quotations, because it's a stretch to even call her that. I don't even know where to begin. I guess the only positive thing about it is at least we work in different departments, so I don't have to see her too often! But, when I do see her, it makes my stomach turn! She is a 35 year old child. She has two kids, but could honestly care less about them. But, boy, they come in handy when she needs an excuse to be gone from work for long periods of time! An offense that the rest of us would be fired for, by the way! She has been working here for close to ten years and has taken countless leaves of absence. Two were for maternity leave, which was understandable, but the others were certainly not. For instance, she claimed that the doctor put her on a stress leave due to her manic depression, but yet, she always ended up some place far away. New Zealand, Venezuala, Italy, the Bahamas.

The story continues after the jump.

The Harsh Reality of Downsizing

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 08:00:53 -0800

Most white collars believe, even today, that they will never become the victims of the downsizing that comes with globalization. That is how I thought: that it would never happen to me. I was secure, confident and even a little smug in my position as a marketing executive with a corporate bank. I had reached the level of vice president. To me, blue-collar workers were the ones who had to face job loss. What did they have to do with me, comfortable and confident in my fancy office with my fat paychecks and the cushion of my MBA?

That was five years ago. In the time since I have learned a valuable lesson and I have realized my own foolishness. We are in this together, and we must remember that.

One day, I received the news that millions of Americans receive. My job had been moved to another country, and I was now unemployed. I was fifty-two years old. There had been rumors for several months, but it did not occur to me that I would be one of those on the receiving end.

I did not expect to have trouble finding another job. I was wrong. For months I followed every lead and made every contact. Several times I was among the finalists, but at the end I was not the choice. The stress and frustration put a terrible pressure on my marriage, and after four months my wife divorced me; I don't have any bitterness about that. We were both at fault. The list of debts was already large when I was fired; they continued to grow.

(Posted by Anonymous)

A Chronic Lying Co-Worker

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 17:25:00 -0800

I work with someone who needs help. She is a chronic liar. When and if she shows up for work, she is always late. She will put 80+ hours worked on her time card...lucky if she put in 5 total hours in two weeks. Slams the boss constantly behind her back, even though this same boss looks past all of her terrible habits and has bent over backwards for her. I can't believe one thing that she says, probably because she can't look anyone in the eyes when she talks. She is loud & very unprofessional. She can b.s. with the best, but NEVER comes through with any projects she says she will do. Always borrowing money from boss/co-workers. Doesn't always pay back. I try to ignore it, but it's been two years. What should I do?

(Posted by Jag)